And The Winner Is...

The summer Olympics are in full swing as athletes from around the world swim, surf and contort their way through almost super-human events. I cannot relate to anything I am watching as I am a certified ne'er-do-well when it comes to sports. Nevertheless, I support our country's participants and wish them well. Go USA!

An alternate sporting event I think I would also enjoy is an Avian Olympics, for the birds. I envision an opening ceremony with a parade of penguins, strutting their stuff, despite their difficulties with flight. Swooping in behind them would be the Albatrosses with their ten-foot wingspans and wobbly walking abilities. For a dash of magnificent color, the Birds of Paradise prance along with dazzling plumage and entertaining courtship rituals. As a final showstopper, an Osprey dives into a pool to retrieve a fish-shaped torch and delivers it to a cauldron nest (skip the pyrotechnics for safety purposes, please). That is a show-stopping opening ceremony with a little less bacchanalian flavor.

Let the Avian games begin!

Gymnastics:

Bronze goes to the Belted Kingfisher. Despite its unwieldy looking body shape, this bird is able to hover over the water and make a precision dive toward its prey. Its post-event pose is also very stately.

Silver goes to the Barn Swallow. There is a ballet-like choreography with these small but mighty birds as they swoop through the air in search of prey. Be careful if you are near one of their nests. They are not afraid to dive bomb two-footed intruders.

Gold goes to the Eastern Kingbird. Their airborne acrobatics and aggressive nature make them fierce competitors. As a special treat, watch for the patch of red on their crown, not often seen. They take joy in harassing larger birds so enjoy the show.

Plumage:

Bronze goes to the Cardinal. Their bright crimson color and handsome crest give them a competitive edge, fair or not. Even non-birders recognize this bird so I guess that makes them GOATS of the Avian Olympics.

Silver goes to the Cedar Waxwing. Their velvety plumage is punctuated with striking eye-masks and buttery yellow tail feather making for delicious eye candy. Surprisingly, their voice is rather discreet. I guess if you look good, why talk.

Gold goes to the Wood Duck. One word comes to mind and that is stunning. Wood Ducks are comfortable nestled on tree branches or gliding upon the water. Their bejeweled feathers are worth a look or two. Sorry, to the females. You have other gifts.

Vocalizations:

Bronze goes to the flashy Cardinal for another medal. The range of forceful clicks, whistles and birdy-birdy-birdy songs cannot be missed during all seasons of the year.

Silver goes to the House Finches. Their trills and melodious songs make this red-dipped bird a winner.

Gold goes to the Gray Catbird. Despite its rather drab plumage, a Catbird can rip loose with a series of songs, chirps and tweets that never cease to entertain. Take the time to enjoy them. They will make you smile.

Most likely the Avian Olympics will never come to fruition. Nevertheless, all birds get a gold medal from me. Fly on, my feathered friends.