I Should, But Cannot

As I write this post my husband is watching the epic film Ben-Hur for the, hmmm, fifty-ninth time. He always says, "It's a classic." Try as I might I cannot get into that movie. It appears I am in the minority as it won eleven Academy awards, including Best Picture, and it was the highest-grossing film in the year it was released (1959). It is considered by many to be one of the greatest religious epic films ever made. I have tried to embrace this movie but any movie that is almost four hours long is way beyond my attention span. And that chariot race is a snooze fest for me, sorry Charlton. I know I should enjoy this movie, but I cannot. Here are a few more of my shoulds.

!) Eggplant--I love vegetables but I draw the line with this one. It is a beautiful looking veggie with its deep purple hue and pear-like shape, however, I find its taste and texture quite off-putting. I have tried multiple preparations such as eggplant parmesan, fried eggplant, ratatouille and grilled eggplant. I also experimented with its slimmer cousin, the Japanese eggplant. Still a no-go. Sorry, eggplant, pass me the zucchini.

2) E-books--I understand the appeal of e-books. They are easily accessed on multiple devices. They are cheaper than hard copies. They are offered by libraries as well as book purveyors. In fact, I was grateful for their availability during the height of the wicked C-19. Despite all the advantages of e-books, I cannot give up books made of real paper. There is a sensory experience that goes with printed books. The heft of a book in my hands. Its fragrance, musty or fresh. Its cover design, flashy or subdued. Its smooth paper and crinkly dust jackets. My non-tech brain needs a printed book to give me a sense of place and context as I work through plots and timelines. Book publishers, I implore you, keep the printing presses humming.

3) Gyms--I am afraid of them, simple as that. I know gyms are considered a bastion of fitness. I know there is a sense of camaraderie when like-minded folks huff and puff their way toward health goals. I know gyms offer personal trainers and "fun" classes and walking buddies and post-workout whirlpools. Sadly, I am awash with defeatism when I enter the halls of athleticism. My failure rate in institutionalized gyms is one hundred percent. I will leave gym memberships to the cool kids, more room on the treadmill for them.

4) Pullover jackets–I have heat regulation issues and I spend most days adding and subtracting outer layers. This is especially true during our shoulder seasons in the upper plains. Last weekend, we started the day in the 50’s and spiked up to the 80’s by the afternoon, not to mention the incessant wind factor. I do not have the patience to pull a jacket off and on over my head throughout the day. I can live without askew glasses and frazzled hair, thank you. Zippers are a brilliant invention and I have every intention of honoring that patent.

I hope all your movies are interesting, your veggies are tasty, your books are serene, your fitness is calming and your jackets feel comfortable. Be gone, Mr. Should.

(P.S. Happy Reformation Day to all my reformer friends!)